Dear Mother of Screaming Child,

I’m not smiling because I’m judging you and find your desperation amusing.

I’m smiling because I’ve been where you are and I know you will make it through, even if you don’t feel like it at the moment.

I’m smiling because I know one day you will look back on days like this and actually miss them.

I’m smiling because, like your unhappy child, I have days when I’m tired and would love to throw a fit in the middle of a department store. But because I’m not 4, I would end up arrested. That thought made me smile.

Dear young Mother, do not despair. There are people around you who understand your plight and sympathize. We would help you if we could. But the world can be a dangerous and cruel place, and we don’t know how you would receive our input, or how we could best give it. So we stand by silently and smile as you try to hurriedly complete your purchase and take your screaming child home.

But some of us don’t just smile, we pray.

We pray for you; for you to have an extra measure of love, patience, grace, wisdom, joy, peace and anything else you need in this situation.

We pray for your child to also find some peace in his upset little heart and mind.

We pray for God’s blessings on you and your sweet baby who is just having a rough, tired moment.

So I smile and pray, hoping that in my smile you find encouragement, hope and understanding reflective of the prayers being said on your behalf.

God bless you, dear Mother of young children.

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Fun Times

Sitting in court this morning (my job, not personal), I had ample time to find constructive things to do…like check Facebook, write a blog post, clean out my inbox… What did people do with their waiting time before all this technology?!?!  I vaguely remember those ancient days.

Anyway, in my inbox I found an email from a laser tag place to which I used to take my former church youth group…back when I was young and innocent… No, really I was just extremely naive. Here’s part of the email:

Here is an activity that is sure to unleash the fun at your next Youth Group gathering!

The name of the game is “Never Have I Ever”

Follow these simple instructions and have a blast!
1.       Everyone holds up one hand.
2.       Go around the circle and one at a time, each person announces something that they have never done, beginning the sentence with the phrase “Never have I ever…” For example, a person could say, “Never have I ever been to Europe.”
3.       For each statement that is said, all the other players drop a finger if they have done that statement.
4.       The goal is to stay in the game the longest.
5.       To win, it’s a good strategy to say statements that most people have done, but you haven’t.

Doesn’t that sound like a fun game to play with a group of teenagers? If you can’t imagine it, let me assure you, it is. Although we did the game differently, I have played it many times with my regular, church kids…the kind that have grown up in their family home and have, at least on occasion, attended church. They somehow knew what was and was not appropriate to say they had never done, which others may have. “Never have I ever: sang a solo, ridden a horse, drove a truck, climbed Stone Mountain, etc…” You get the idea. Perhaps these precious babies played the game differently at non-church parties. But they followed protocol at church.

And then one day I started working at a group home for troubled teenagers. Some of these kids LOVE to go to church and participate in youth group. So I take them. And one evening at youth group, we played “Never have I ever.” I probably will never do that again…lol! That’s when I found out how naive I was in my experience and expectations of “unchurched” kids; you know, the ones we say we want to reach? Turns out these kids are competitive…and adept at surviving… and some were not afraid or ashamed to use what they knew about the other contestants to win the game. Because I have been desensitized to what these kids say and do, I was not as shocked as I should have been… I think I even laughed. It was funny. I also stopped the game really quickly.

Here’s the rub and the question for you to ponder today: how do we reach out to hurting, disadvantaged children and include them in our “good, wholesome” activities, exposing them to love and grace and positive influences while protecting the children we currently have from negative influences brought in by the new kids? I’m open to suggestions. Please comment.

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Changing Our Want

     I want to eat to eat what I want and be thin.
     I have had to face the reality that not everyone’s body responds to food the same way. Some people are able to eat whatever they want and stay thin. This is not a blessing or gift I have. Actually, I guess I should say, some people appear to be able to eat whatever I want to eat, and while I would immediately gain a pound of fat, they metabolize it efficiently and stay thin. Truth be told, most of these individuals probably have a lifestyle in which they eat a lot fewer calories, and burn a lot more, on a regular daily basis than I do. For instance, my youngest son eats all the delicious carbs (bread, Mac and cheese, ice cream, etc), fried food, sugary drinks, pizza, chips, etc… he wants to eat, rarely touches a vegetable or fruit (never a salad), and is just as thin as he ever was. But he doesn’t eat often and he walks miles, I mean MILES, every day. Food just isn’t a THING to him. It’s not one of his main pleasures in life. Food may not be one of my MAIN pleasures, but I do enjoy it. And knowing the reality of my situation, I can’t do what I want.
      OR, I can change my “want”.
      Paul wrote about wants in Ephesians 7: “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway.” (Romans 7:18, 19 NLT) And if a grown, educated, wise man such as the apostle Paul had this struggle, perhaps the solution for me is a little more complicated than a “diet” or weight-loss program. Perhaps the answer is to let the Holy Spirit live through me.
     “But you are not controlled by your sinful nature. You are controlled by the Spirit if you have the Spirit of God living in you. (And remember that those who do not have the Spirit of Christ living in them do not belong to Him at all.)… The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, He will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live.” (Romans 8:9, 11-13 NLT)
    There is a whole lot more in the 2 chapters than I touched on here. But this is a good start for today.
     I’m also going to make Post-It notes for myself that say, “I want to take care of this body God gave me.” “I want to use my time for God’s purposes, and accomplish the tasks that benefit His kingdom.” “I want to do what The Lord tells me to do and bring glory to His Name.” But first and foremost, I am going to write, “I will live by the Holy Spirit inside of me and NOT by my sinful nature.”
     What about you? What do you need to write on your Post-It notes today?
*name changed
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“THE CURSE OF WORK” – August 16

“THE CURSE OF WORK” – August 16

This post did not just speak to me, it shouted. How I wish I had taught this lesson to my children better.

 

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Christians Are Not Pack Mules

I really liked this post by another author I am newly following at Lessons by Heart. I think this speaks to a lot of us. It certainly got to me. Let me know what you think! And check out some of her other posts, also. You’ll be glad you did.

Lessons by Heart

“Our son, Leroy, has a problem,” Fritz said as he and his wife sat in the counselor’s office.

Dr. Hank’s brow furrowed, and he said gently, “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Where is he?”

“Well, he said he didn’t have a problem and refused to come with us today,” Fritz said.

“Hmm. Well, tell me what’s going on,” the doctor said.

Fanny spoke up, “Leroy is twenty-three years old and still lives with us. He has a hard time holding down a job. No one seems to value his excellent skills. They ignore his ideas to improve business, which upsets him, so he quits. Without an income, he can’t keep an apartment, so he lives with us.”

“Yeah, eats us out of house and home, drives our car, and we’re not sure, but I think he’s started drinking,” Fritz added. “During the day, when he ought to be out…

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-ISMs

The Martin-Zimmerman case has caused quite a stir. There are apparently two sides: one saying it was racial, one says it wasn’t. Here’s the thing, either way a teen is dead at the hands of an adult.  Everyone is talking about racism. No one is mentioning “ageism.” maybe that’s not even a word. But I’ve noticed in today’s culture, teens of all colors dress like Trayvon did. And adults of all colors are distrustful of them. Adults have good reason to be. Teens are often impulsive, disrespectful, selfish, and living for the moment. Guess what? Teens have a good reason to be all those things, as well. Adults have left them without healthy supervision and guidance. In the void left by parents and caring family, the media has stepped in and given our children an education to be all of the above. In the absence of families, teens looking for a place to fit in have formed or joined groups. Some of these groups are violent, some aren’t. Some use and sell drugs, some don’t. Some of these groups are known as gangs. Some are just groups of teens hanging out.

I understand how adults feel. I am one. When I see a group of teenagers together, I immediately feel like an ancient outsider that has nothing in common with them, even if they are my own children…and I’ve been working with teens for years! It’s easy to assume they are up to no good. Yet when I spend time with the teens, I find they really aren’t that bad. And when you listen to what they have to say, and maybe even offer suggestions in a caring way, they often respond very positively. Oftentimes they seem to be hungry for someone with more maturity to take some interest in them, to encourage them, to recognize they are capable of doing some good things and making some right choices.

I see this daily where I work. I also see daily what happens when teenagers are left to their own devices after being educated by society, media and their families (or lack thereof) that:

  • they have to take care of themselves,
  • trust no one, especially authority figures,
  • demand respect above all else, and
  • you are somebody only if you are better than somebody else for whatever reason (so put others down because of race, gang affiliation, gender, sexuality, possessions, etc).

So here’s my suggestion to all you good grown-ups out there of any race: find a teen and get to know him or her. Step out of your comfort zone and make a connection. Talk to them, listen to them, maybe even mentor them. This doesn’t mean you have to listen to or like their music, dress like them or use their slang (that would be weird). But do invest in your life into someone else’s. I have this theory: its really easy to judge and dislike a group of people you don’t know. But it’s a lot harder to dislike a person you do know and with whom you have spent some time. And instead of judging, you understand more. By getting to know someone in a different age group, you tear down barriers for both sides.

And one more thing, what better community is there for this to happen than the church? Besides the family, the church is the only “institution” I can think of where all ages are together and valued. Perhaps if more adults reached out to more teens at church, instead of always being divided into different age groups, things would be better.  I don’t know. Just a thought. What do you think?

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Something Supernatural

We humans are fascinated by the supernatural. We love vampire romances, demon-slayers, ghost hunters, etc. We investigate supernatural things as a form of entertainment. I believe God put that interest in us as part of that God-shaped hole which only He can fill. Our openness to the spiritual realm reminds us this world, this life, is not all there is. We know instinctively there is more.

I love the stories of the miracles in the Bible. They, too, are supernatural. Jesus’ first is no exception:

Jesus said to the servants, “Fill the jars with water,” and they filled them to the brim. Then he told them, “Now draw some from them and take it to the headwaiter,” and they did. The headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine. He didn’t know where it came from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew…This was the first miraculous sign that Jesus did in Cana of Galilee. He revealed His glory, and His disciples believed in Him. (John 2:7-9, 11 CEB)

The supernatural occurs when one substance changes into an entirely different substance (water to wine) with no apparent natural intervention. Nothing indicates Jesus touched the jars or the water, or that He said anything to or over them. He only instructed the servants. They responded obediently. The miracle, it seems, happened through the servants’ obedient actions.

I propose it happens the same way today. When we respond obediently to what the Lord tells us to do, miracles can happen. Perhaps we need to learn how to listen to and discern His voice. This is my prayer for today.

Lord, give us ears to hear and a heart, mind and body willing to respond obediently to Your Word, even if it doesn’t seem like it will help. In Jesus’ name.

What about you? Are you fascinated by the supernatural? Have you ever witnessed a miracle?

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